I've decided to consider this a good thing. My games at Dragon Go had went extremely well the last two weeks and I got way too confident (seeing me rise to shodan within two years in the most laughable moments of self delusion). Having demonstrated to me how weak I still am is humbling, but also motivating.
However, I start to feel that I don't play as good as I could on these evenings - maybe because I play most of my games on Dragon Go and not on a real board. I also fail out of great many psychological reasons (wanting to impress, not wanting to be kicked around, not taking enough time to read positions out etc. pp.). I realize more and more that I do not just need to practice more, but also need to change my attitude when playing. I do not concentrate enough for starters.
Another example. I played black 9 knowing it is a bad idea. It screamed DO NOT PLAY ME ... and I did anyways. I think it was kind of a 'pah .. let's see what happens'-attitude mixed with laziness.
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| Diagram 1 |
I think it went on like this. Marvel at the white walls of power, pitty black (me) for his tiny, little, barely living corner territory!
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| Diagram 2 |
That's it for the day. I'm tired.
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